Tommorow me and the girlfreind are going to our first swinger club. Ive swung before, she hasnt, and wants to start with a lady first, and probably stay there.

How many of yall are swingers? Did it fuck your relationship up? I look at it like bowling. If you like bowling with another couple, why not screwing another couple? Its all physical to me. I wont love whatever chick I bang, and I know she wont loose feelings for me.

She's 35, im only 22. I hate the fag-tastic bar scene anyways, its just mostly worthless fucks who spend all their extra money on drinking. I see the swinger scene as a higher-class society among people of usually above average intelligence and wealth. (then why the fuck am I going???)

Should I let another dude bang her (if she wants?) It dosent bother me too much, plus, if I stay with her for a while im gonna need some strange at somepoint, so why not her? (ill never cheat)

Or just stick to some solid lesbo shit?

Comments, opinions, and bashings welcome. But if your nice ill promise to post pics.


PS-words for men to live by

"They are all whores, except for mom. And when she starts drinking gin, weve gotta worry about her"

No offense intended twords the fine ladies here.

Well, you're certainly more secure than me. I readily admit that I couldn't separate it from my relationship. I'm not the jealous type by any means; quite the opposite actually, but that's one line I couldn't cross without it ruining the relationship.

Me too. Watching another dude bang my gal = bad news.

I dont get it, to be honest

The whole concept of this lifestyle intrigues me, but I happen to enjoy sociology.

Likewise with the other posts I'd probably have a problem with it. On the other hand if my relationship was purely physical (such as would be if I was dating someone with a similar age gap) and said relationship initiated the discussed scenario early enough, I'd probably be ok with it. If on the other hand this physical relationship was grew on me (like it normally does) then their maybe an issue.

That being said I've heard of and encountered married couples who were completely fine with this. To each their own, you're more secure than I.

PS
I've encountered some pretty strange women in the past where volatile random irrational actions appear the norm, even if it was their decision and seemed in good faith. If this does pan out smoothly, it would probably require a fairly level head on both parties (I assume at this point).

Well thats why im with her. Im 22, but my group of freinds are from 30-55. I actually only have 1 freind under 30. I have always been ahead of my years in personality and actions. I really love her, and she is the coolest chick I ever met. We NEVER fight. Its like we are 1 mutual being. She does have 2 kids, but this helps me be a more well rounded and responsible person. And in fact, she looks 27 and I look 30, so nobody even notices that were that far apart in age. People are always shocked when I say im 22.


But the physical aspect.

I find her beautiful. Perfect ass, and tighter than any virgin I ever banged. Me, im a pervert. Ive had so much meaningless sex I swear I couldnt even begin to count how many chicks ive defiled.

Judge me how you may, but it gets me off to think of her screwin someone else. 2 years ago she banged a 17yo (ex hubby always put her down, said she was ugly, and this dude was good looking, and told her he was 20ish) She found out after the fact he was still in highschool. But thinking of that scenario really gets me off. I fucked a substitute when I was in highschool, best shit ever.

Anyways, ill do anything besides dudu and dick. You only live once, right? And if it gets me off, why pretend it dosent? I say go for it. If I liked dudes, I wouldnt be scared to admit I was gay. However, the whole idea is repulsive to me, but you get my point, right?

People that like the fantasy of seeing their mate getting fucked by someone else are intently focused on the pleasure of their mate. Essentially, her being pleased pleases you. I can understand this completely.

if you think you're perverted now, just wait until your current routine become routine.

I don't think the psychological mechanism works that way.

It has more to do with the feeling of controlling someone.

I disagree. I will eat her pussy for HOURS, and never expect anything in return. Its fun when both partners try to out-do each other as far as pleasing their mate.

Plus, im the least controlling dude around. I just think of the look on her face while she is in the throws of sheer extacy, and it REALLY turns me on and gets me off.

Still no poop games no matter HOW routine it gets.

Whats everyones opinion on golden showers?

swinging is always better in theory.

I've spoken to several people who have been active in the swinging life and they all say the same thing - it's fun for a little while because you're both involved. The problem comes when you've taught yourselves it's 'acceptable' to fuck someone else, but your partner isn't available, down with this person you want, etc... So they just start fucking people behind each other's backs.

It's a breeding ground for trouble, selfishness, and disloyalty. You both trust each other and aren't jealous? Awesome. Go to seperate dance clubs. Group sex and swapping is for whores. Don't do it with a woman you care about. I could never respect a woman who is willing to get banged by two people at once enough to take them seriously in a relationship.

Honestly. Encouraging this behavior is like buying a 'Do it yourself whore kit.'

I see where your coming from. She says she WILL NOT fuck another guy, but definatly wants to eat some pussy. I just think a swinger club would be a more fun enviroment then your local bar, where they are all whores anyways, just not wanting to admit it.

I see your point, and would encourage it - if you don't care about her. Being 35 she's probably just using you for fun anyways. I've been there several times. So why not have fun!?

WRT someone you care about I see it as the same reason I tell my clients not eat protein bars, cookies, healthy cupcakes, etc.. The theme here is association. You associate something acceptable (eating something that LOOKS like a candy bar, but isn't OR fucking someone else WITH you there) with something unacceptable (eating a REAL cupcake, candy bar OR fucking someone else without you). The association is based on selfish endulgence and convenience but all in all is a lot easier to make once you have that 'ok.' They just forget the fact that you aren't there or that snickers isn't a Labrada because it's convenient and they want to.

Just my thoughts... It's come up.

Is it not possible that then that this can happen with no ill consequences? Im sure she is not using me... I know every dude thinks their broad is different, but it is the case here. I could have my pickin of any kind of women I wanted, within reason. Her personality cant be put into words. Trust me, I lived in the WonderfulWideWorld of Whores all my life, with few exceptions. She is not even close to fitting that profile.

This women loves me with a passion that cant be put into words, and likewise from my side.

Im not a very emotional guy, and see sex as just a physical act. No matter what happens, I will love her and she will love me.

But this has gotten off track. Should I get pissed on or what??


This thread was meant in a fun fashion, and no offense Jakey, but I think you might have some past issues that lead you to feel so strongly.

Im not here for a long time, Im here for a good time. Ladies the line is long but it moves quick, get your tickets now. You cant be the first, but you can be one of the many.

Chances are you already have been, if you eat her out like you say you do.

To be honest its happend already Not that bad actually.

Im off to the club shortly, if I can post from my phone ill let ya know what happens...Maybe slide some pics up if the oppurtunity arises

Is "controlling" about expecting something in return?


That is not what I am talking about.

Swinging takes lots of open and honest communication. Some people are capable of handling that much openess, some not so much. I prefer going to swing clubs over the traditional bar. I can be myself, dress as sexy as I want, not have to edit what I say or how I dance, not have to worry about being grabbed by some drunken asshole, and if you are lucky enough to get to an on premise clubs, you can go and have sex as soon as the mood strikes. You can have fun, sexy, intelligent conversations, be a flirt, and not have to deal with consequences.

Best line came from a bouncer at a hotel party we attended. He said he loved bouncing for swingers....other people get drunk and they want to start a fight, swingers get drunk and they want to fuck.

Oh yeah, it is SOOOOOOO bad form to take pictures at a swing club.

Also, screwing someone behind your SO's back is also considered bad form. Screwing them with their full knowledge is acceptable. Also swinging does not = intercourse with others.

Jakey, you need to read up more about it. Usually the ones that have problems with swinging are those that already have issues with their relationship and they think this will fix it. It won't.

Or those that go in not fulling knowing rules and general swinging courtesy. Newbie!

The picture comment was made in jest. Ohh my head hurts right now. Update later

I don't think it has to do with security.

Why not? Urine is the most sterile body fluid of the human body. Just make sure she's drinking plenty of water.

If it is BYOB then you can so easily get trashed. We have to moderate...yet another one of those things that you learn.


Atrophex+EtOH+club atmosphere=great night+splitting head the next morning!

Actually, I only had 3 drinks. It was more the loud music and everything happening.

All we did was sex it up in the same room as others. Very cool atmosphere and awesome people, very low pressure. The negative is that its friggin expensive. $150 membership and $40 per party. Almost a $300 night when it was all said and done. But we will be going back im sure, it was really fun. (except for one dud kept asking if we were BOTH bi, and staring at my crank the whole time.

HA yeah while it is in your bladder it is sterile, as soon as it hits open air it is like an auger dish just waiting to be a breeding ground of who knows what. lol. i dont care if you take a golden shower, hell bathe in it if you want, thats your thing, but dont think "oh its all good this is sterile"

Great first aid for stingray attacks. At my birthday party at the beach last year you should of seen my drunk ass crying and trying to piss on my own leg in a huge crowd of people. Classic moment.

Holy freaking hell!! I hope that membership is lifetime! The only club we have been to that was that expensive was Fun4Two in Holland, but food and drink was included in that cost. Oh, yeah, if you EVER get to Holland you MUST go to that place.

We try not to hit the club on nights they allow single men in for the exact reason you stated above. He should know the rules and he is lucky that he did not get himself banned.

What did your GF think??

She was a bit embaressed at first, as she is self concious about her body. (minor stretch marks from kids and she thinks a titty must be a 44dd to be nice) But a couple drinks cleared that right up. She wants to do it again, I think she is like you in the fact she is going to enjoy being able to dress as sexy as she likes.

I was referring to the eventual possibility of the rules being broken for convenience. As I said I've spoken to several swingers. Even dated an ex-swinger. The funny thing is is that the ex-swinger I think will always have that 'swinger mentality.' In which temptation is so much harder to deal with due to her past in which she was able to act upon those urges.

What is interesting to me is that polygamist in other cultures (and the church of latter day saints) practice half swaps. Where it's acceptable for the man to be polyamorous, but not for the woman. Modern day swinging is more often the exact opposite and seems to be harder to successfully incorporate into a couples' lives.

I have my opinions about it, though. I think personally if a woman has desires for others then she doesn't belong with me (in a serious situation). This is all my opinion and obviously not the standard. Call me old fashioned.

This is so odd to me... I've been with the kinda girl you want to share with everyone, but I can't say I've ever loved that girl. Loving a girl and sharing her don't really go hand in hand for me. Then again all this sexy time talk is kinda getting me going

For me it is not about having desires for others, as I really don't. It is about being able to act like I am on Spring break whenever I want to. It is about being able to dance sexy with my husband and not get glares from half of the people in the place. It is about being able to say what is on my mind without having to worry about "offending" anyone. It is being able to tell a chick in the bathroom that she has a great ass or incredible eyes without her freaking out. It is about being able to wear my 6" stacks to the club without concern that some guy thinks I am easy and he is going to wait for me around the corner to try to cop a feel, or worse. For women it is very different. We cannot go out and be our sexual selves because lets face it, guys are pigs. I would NEVER wear what I wear or act like I act outside of the security of the club. If I feel like running around in my bra because I am all sweaty from dancing I can and not have an eye blinked.

The only true definition of a swinger is someone who is sexually open (do not confuse this with promiscuous). Oh, and they are fun as hell to party with!!!

Yeah cuz women today are all cherubs, right? From my view most women in my age bracket 18-25 are just as bad as guys in terms of "being a pig"

Agreed.


Chem there is a lot of irony in your post.

So to cut to the chase: when you and your dude go to these clubs do you bang randoms...?

No and never will. That is me/us....I have friends that will and actively seek out somone every weekend. That does not appeal to either of us. I LOVE the people that we have met...that is the one thing that I would have difficulty giving up from this lifestyle. Have a girl that I met through the club. She broke up with the guy that she attended the club with but still tries to get to the club by herself every other month. She wears micro mini's and her thigh highs (she is already 6' tall) and goes and dances her heart out. Honestly, where else would she be able to do something like that? Her ex's kink was watching other people....live porn. She enjoys being able to be a sexy ass bitch and letting her wild side out.

Given the choice between a "regular" club or a swing club I will always choose the latter. I am less on guard and can have much more fun.

I am not saying that some women are not pigs, but I am not afraid of getting accosted by a woman walking to my car at night.

I am curious to find out what you consider ironic about my post?

I think he was referring to the "Every guy thinks I'm easy" quote. I'll just take a page from dave chappelle's stand up and say while women who dress a certain way aren't by any means whores they are wearing their uniforms. Theres a reason street walker aren't in three piece suits.

And every day I wear jeans and a tshirt in to work, safety glasses and steel toed boots. Is there something wrong with a woman wanting to dress or feel sexy?? That is a really fucked up view. So just because I am married and pushing 40 I all of a sudden should not want to enjoy being a little naughty some times? And so, if I do decide to dress scantily I am all of a sudden a slut?? This is the type of thinking I get away from.

I was referring to your views on men in light of the manner in which you wish to sexually express yourself in swing clubs.

No theres nothing wrong with wanting to dress and feel sexy but I just find it funny when a women asks a guy what he is staring at in a club and half the time its her freakin labia because her skirt is 2cm long. And no you are not a slut but you will be perceived as one by a large amount of guys simply because almost all sluttish women dress scantily. Don't shoot the messenger

Are you not paying attention? That is why she goes to those clubs, because she won't be judged. Sheesh.

Am I the only one who thinks the word "slut" implies a positive connatation???

Use it on a sentence for that purpose.

"That new Z06 is soooo slutty"

"Im a slut for Leptigen"

"Yeah, I never knew my father, or more accuratly, which one of the random guys that spent the night was my dad. Yeah, I guess mom was sort of a slut"

Not shooting the messenger, just tired of the very narrow views of women that the majority of society holds of us. I am strong, intelligent and damn sexy. But for some reason I can't be sexy without being easy or a slut. And yes, that is the exact reason that I stay away from general clubs when I go out. I am tired of constantly being on guard and tired of getting daggers thrown at me by the insecure women.

Quite honestly the men at swing clubs are 100x more respectful than one would think. But being on the outside looking in I would not expect anyone to really understand.

it goes hand in hand with the act of going against what society deems appropriate. The problem I have with this statement is as a woman you are displaying your good for sale, but when inquired about them you state they are unavailable for purchase at this time. While you are having a good time being sexy it at least to some extent is thrill of being admired and desired that you're after. Obviously you could wear these clothes for only one man (husband) and it would be a null issue assuming you stayed in. You are taking it one step further and saying "I want many men to want me, but I want none of the negative consequences that come along with that." Of coarse it seems awesome to you since your ego is being stroked and your husband just gets to see a bunch of guys get wood over his woman, but none of them try to be inappropriate. Case in point, don't blame the men for being men, and I wont blame a women for being women - stroking that ego (cause they all do, just most don't act on it in an "extreme" way such as this).

Just because I pole dance does not make me a stripper. And you should know by now that women do not dress to impress other men but rather to try to "one up" the other ladies at the club. So with that thinking Jake does the same mentality apply at the beach? If I wear a bikini am I advertising my goods? Why is it so ok to wear a bikini at the beach/pool but not expose a bra when out on the town? If I wear a pair of shorts with flip flops, why is it all of a sudden a different story if I put heels on with those shorts? So from here on out in my life I should only be wearing long pants and tops that are not form fitting in any way so that I am not "advertising"? Where is the line and why does there have to be a line? I am sure that at one point in time or another you have taken your shirt off in public. Were you advertising?

Fuck what standards society holds her to. If she wants to do this, more power to her. I do what I like, when I like, as long as it is in a responsible fashion, and I dont really give a fuck about so-called community standards. I guess im the on guy who really dislikes the double standard that women are held to. Guy screws all kind of hot ass/pimp. Women does the same/slutty whore.

Its just sex for cryin out loud, and IMHO, most of the people who say that it is "an emotional act of love" are the same people who cry at movies, judge others for sport, and spend saturday nights watching the Westminster Dog Show on Animal Planet.

Sex is my favorite physical act, so why restrain?

There are two sides to this story. Your intention is one side.

What others perceive is the other side (which may be referred to as "norm.").

I think you are basically saying that you don't like that "norm."

But "norm" is what it is for a good reason, which Jake just explained.

No offense intended here, but I think you are ignoring that reason, and considering only your side of the story (your reason for disliking it).

what's wrong with dressing super sexy just for your man?

I bet you can get attention from others or out do the ladies or whatever in a more enlightened way.

ignore man's nature (and your's) at your won peril, IMO.

I never thought id see the day when a bunch of guys are speaking against a women dressing sexy... Have yall ever been to a regular dance club? They type where 90% of the chicks there are solid whores, and psuedo-fucking on the dance floor? While their kids are at home none the less? And ill state that half their reasoning is to find some cock?

Women have lustful instincts just like men. I know when im at a club and single my MAIN GOAL is to find a peice of strange. Is it not yours?